And it hurt. A lot. But I had no choice. I had to do it because I cannot keep entertaining you on your premise.
“Letting go” is a good thing to do and theoretically a very simple way to a happier life. It is necessary for us to be able to move on, flourish and thrive. But it doesn’t mean it is always that easy. Often it is: Work stuff. Mundane stuff. It is all a lot easier than you think it is, if you just give it a try and keep practicing you’ll get the hang of it. Just throw “stuff” in a bag and get rid of it. Let it go.
But some things are harder to let go of. Some people are hard to let go of, even if on an intellectual level you realise you have to. For your own sake.
Especially when you have opened your heart to another human being and let them be close to you. Not only as a lover, because most of the time the physical really is secondary – but when you have opened your mind and soul to someone, and connected cerebrally, letting them see you for who you really are… With all your fears and flaws. And you have opened your mind to seeing and accepting them, with all their flaws and uniqueness. It is a lot harder.
The venerable Ajahn Brahm talks about “Four ways of letting go” and gives some very practical tips for how to trick your brain into letting go of things that you shouldn’t be hashing over. Letting go of your past. The things that have already happened. The things you can’t change. The things that are gone. The things that are finished.
Treat them as baggage that you don’t need anymore. Throw them away.
A couple of weeks ago, I quite unexpectedly found myself in a situation where I had to do just that. And I was so grateful that I had listened to Ajahn Brahm’s talk long before I ended up in that situation and was able to take his (practical) advise to heart.
So I wrote your name on a stone, along with a letter to you that you will never read, and I threw it in the river.