So, I haven’t written anything in a while. Well, I wrote a bunch of stuff prior to and during my trip back to Thailand but as mentioned, I haven’t been able to publish those blogs. Yet…
And since I got back from my trip I haven’t been able to write. Partially because I have been really sick (flu – nothing major or life threatening though the best way to describe the flu I had was that it was a true “man cold”, so draw your own conclusions…. :)) but also because I have had a really hard time re-adjusting to “normal life” again. Why? Because I am over it!
I have gotten to a fork in the road where I am getting closer and closer to making a life altering decision. It is high time for me to start living the life I truly want to live. The life that makes me happy. I am soon 42 years old and it is about time that I do what I want to do and not continue doing what (I think) people expect of me.
To some of you, I am sure that what I am writing next is shocking and you are going to think that I am about to throw my life away – my education, my career and my “potential”. And perhaps I am. But I am doing it for a very simple, and in my world, a very good reason: the pursuit of happiness!
I am at mid-point. I am half through my life, if I am lucky and I get to stay healthy and free from illness and injuries. And I want to make the most of it. I want to feel alive. I want to be happy. I want to wake up every morning and be somewhere I like to be. Do what I like to do. Enjoy living and being alive. It’s as simple as that.
I have done a lot of reflection and introspection over the last 6-7 months, as my loyal readers and friends know. And I have realized that “stuff” or money does not make me happy. I have a nice house that I own. I have a nice car and two wardrobes full of very nice, expensive clothes. I make a fair amount of money and it gives me the freedom to go anywhere and do anything, within reason. But I am not happy.
So I am starting to downsize my life. I am starting to make adjustments and take steps to “cash out” and pursue happiness. I know that I should be patient and not jump the gun. I need a few more years to secure my future – and my retirement more specifically. But I have never been patient and I am starting to trust life and the power of living in the now to the extent that I am thinking that it will all work itself out in the end.
Why worry about it now? Why not live in the now and be happy while I am healthy and deal with whatever the universe has in store for me, when I need to worry about it? Who knows if I will wake up tomorrow? Who knows if I will live to 80 or 90? And who’s to say that I won’t still be able to be happy and healthy at 80, even if I do pull the plug now?
Let’s look at it from the other side of things: Who is to say that it won’t be the direct opposite? That if I carry on a life full of stress, bad health decisions and lots of spiritual and mental unhappiness, it won’t in fact make me sick? And kill me ahead of time?
If there is one thing I firmly believe, it is that body and mind are very closely connected, and if one is “sick” the other cannot be healthy. At least not in the long run…. So perhaps it is time to tend to my mind, as well as my body, and keep my mind happy and healthy. And the body will simply follow…. And if it doesn’t, then what says that it would have just because I stayed in a life that made me unhappy? I think it is time that I follow my heart for a change. It is time to tell the brain (which is very different from the “mind”!) to shut up and just go with it…
I think it is time to cut the chord, go traveling for a year and figure out who, what and where I want to be, when I grow up!
Any thoughts on that, people? Leave a comment…. Tell me what you really think about it!