For those of you who’ve been following me for a while, you know that I usually refer to myself as a recovering Lutheran, or a “good girl” in recovery. Simply because my entire life (all of my first 41 1/2 years at least) I have always made decisions based on what I “should” be doing. What is the sensible thing to do? What is the smartest thing to do from a long-term perspective? What is the responsible thing to do? And, worst of all, what do others expect from me?!
Well, it’s time to stop being sensible and start making my decisions based on what I want and what makes me happy – sod the long-term consequences! 🙂
I could be dead tomorrow. I might be gone in a year’s time, or in five years, what do I know? I might have another 40+ years ahead of me, but what if I don’t? I have come to realise that none of us know how long we’ve got, so we should make the most of it while we can.
Simply enjoy the hell out of every moment, of every day!
From now on I’m going to live my life. I’m going to be an active participant and take the wheel, instead of just riding along. And I have already started. I’ve re-assessed, re-evaluated and re-prioritised so much in my life already. I take time off. I go places. I visit people and I do things. Work is no longer the centre of my universe and I have nothing to prove anymore. I don’t need to achieve more and strive to be better all the time. I don’t have to win anymore. Not over others and most importantly, not over myself. And I am so much happier – I think you may have noticed…?! 😉
Life is not only too short but it is too valuable to waste on things that do not bring us joy and happiness. It doesn’t (have to) mean we should be selfish or reckless and put our own happiness above all and everyone else’s. As everything in life there needs to be balance, because without balance we quickly end up craving and clinging to things, or to people, which always leads to suffering in the end.
As always, the “how” is as important as the “what” but I no longer ask myself “when?”. Because the answer to that is simple: It is NOW!